Wednesday, November 19, 2008

4 months with our happy little guy!

The month of November is National Adoption Month and today is our 4th month being a family together with William. This experience adopting William has far exceeded my expectations of what it might be...yes we had some rough times in the beginning and there have been some bumps in the road, but it's definitely headed in the right direction. It feels like he's been with us much longer. He fits our family so well. What has worked for us? Establishing a routine that Will can count on. I'm a big believer that kids thrive on routine. No I'm not so strict about it that we can't deviate from it some, but William knows we eat meals together, he naps around a certain time and goes to bed with a bedtime routine. The first month or so we basically didn't go anywhere except outside in the neighborhood to play and meet some new friends. He didn't do so well meeting new people initially so we went slow in that area. I also would verbally prepare him for a trip in the car, clothing change, bath, diaper change, etc. because at first those transitions were hard. Now they aren't at all. William was very sad/angry that first month. Dan and I always kept in mind how much he'd lost and when he was combative we'd hold him until he calmed down and never isolated him in a room. It works much better for him if we speak in a normal tone of voice. When he's naughty (and he is sometimes) he goes in 'time out' or we call it 'time in.' Again we hold him until he calms down and then talk to him about the incident briefly. We ask him to apologize if he's done something wrong and then we say, "I forgive you." I give credit to Mike and Deena Van't Hul of the Hidden Treasures Foster Home where Will lived in a little village just outside of Fuzhou, in Fujian Province because I see the qualities in William that Mike and Deena would want. They established love, trust and respect for others. We will forever thank these people for the gift of William Michael. And he is truly a gift. Adoption is a miracle, sometimes it just takes a little time for the miracle to show it self. Add to that trust, love, consistency, patience and also knowing this is a journey for us all. At bedtime now, William gives each one of us a big hug and kiss and spontaneously says, "I love you!" We waited a long time for this and it was so worth the wait. :)

10 kind words:

OH MY #6 said...

This is just such a nice post. Thank you, for always sharing what work and what hasn't worked for you. It is so informative, especially for someone like me, who has not been through this!


redmaryjanes said...

What a beautiful post! You are going to have such a wonderful Christmas!

The Morris Family said...

Incredible to think about the amazing changes that have transpired right before our eyes in such short time, isn't it?! Love the picture, he is such a handsome little guy! Happy 4 months!

A Mom- In-W8ing said...

What a wonderful experience it has been following your family to your adorable little man. He has made such huge strides and it is so great to be able to follow along on your journey and obtain all the terrific advice you share.

Happy 4 months!!

Smiles! :o)

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Happy 4 Months!! I am sure it seems like yesterday....the time just goes by so quickly!

What a sweet post.....William has come a long way in a few short months....and I would bet my next paycheck that the giant hug and kiss before bed is the highlight of your day.....he is such a precious little guy!!

Laura L. said...

He is so cute! I'm sure it hardly seems possible he's been home 4 months already, yet it seems like he's always been there too.
It is wonderful to watch them blossom. Can boys blossom? :)

Gail said...

Boys sure can blossom. ;)

Life with JJ, Starr and Spice said...

Great post my friend. You are awesome parents and just what the Dr. ordered when it came to your son. He is obviously thriving under your care and he is doing so in a big way.

I am so happy for you all.

Paula said...

I totally agree with you on the routine thing with kids. Hannah thrives on it too. So happy to hear that sweet Will is doing well and adjusting.

Laura L. said...

Hi Gail,
I've tagged you. Play along if you'd like to. Have a good Friday. :)

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