Sunday, March 2, 2008

So how did we get here?


I get asked the question frequently... how did you come to adoption, or what led you to adopt? I think in one of my first posts I talked about ...that I had been an infertility patient for about 7 years and after all kinds of tests, procedures, and even surgeries, I was unable to have anymore children. I had what the docs call secondary infertility. I came to accept that I would most likely not become pregnant and have another baby and felt very fortunate and blessed to have my son Nick.

About a year went by and I met a co-worker at the school I worked at and found out she had 3 children adopted from Korea. Shortly after that, I met a woman who had 2 little girls from China. I asked both of these women many questions and started to research adoption, both IA and domestic. I attended several adoption seminars. I learned about China and all the circumstances that led to so many orphans there and felt very strongly led to China and it's children. I realized that it was something that Dan and I could do...adopt and be parents again, but all through this period of time I was so aware of my age(then 41) and I had lots of comments from family members and friends about why would I want to have another child? Why at this time of your life? Honestly, people thought we were crazy for even thinking of it because of our age, and all kinds of other made up reasons. Nick was 15 years old at that time and it would be like having 2 different families--a much older child and a young child. The entire time I prayed for an answer...what should we do? Are we supposed to be parents again? Dan and I loved Nick so much and we loved being parents, we also were very aware of the fact that there were (are) so many children in the world that needed families. I was pretty resigned to the fact that it wasn't going to happen and it was just a silly dream of mine, to adopt a baby from China. I kept praying though. It was like I needed to be given permission to adopt. Time went by and I was reading the newspaper one day. There was an adoption seminar at a church not to far away from us. At the last minute I decided to go. On the drive to the church I prayed to God again, for an answer, to please show me what to do. To make a long story short, I went to the seminar and the theme of it was Adoptive Families with Older Children and much Younger Children!!!! 6 different families were there with their teenagers or even college age, or grown children and their much younger adopted children. They each spoke about adoption and what a gift it was for them, every single member of the family. Mostly I learned that there are no right or wrong families, there are all different kinds and it's all good for everyone involved.

I had my answer, and couldn't have had a louder or more dramatic sign. I cried in the car all the way home. I felt like I was told very directly and specifically, "You need to do this." The next week we signed up with our agency in the Chicago area. BTW, we didn't have all the money to adopt Grace when we started, but we had some. And the money later came on it's own. We are very blessed, I'm just happy I got the "message." :)
Edited to say: In hindsight, I don't care for one minute that people may think we are crazy. Yes we are crazy, crazy in love with our kids. :)

8 kind words:

cougchick said...

Beautiful story! Thanks for sharing.

Denise C said...

What a precious story! I too had secondary infertility...after our Chelsi...we couldn't get pregnant again. I didn't realize how common this was until it happened to us.
God is so good to give you the message you so desperately needed to hear that night at the adoption meeting! I stand in Awe of HIM all the time!
Love and Hugs to you sweet friend!

Mob said...

Thank you SO much for sharing your story. Yours is very similar to ours. People thought we were crazy to adopt at our age (late 40's), but you know what, that is HUMAN thinking, that is not the way GOD thinks. I am so happy that we both decided to follow Gods plan for our families. Look how we have been richly blessed. Praise God.

OH MY #6 said...

This is a lovely story. You must love it as number 3 will soon be yours.

Lea

The Morris Family said...

Gail- Thanks for sharing your story. We can never know exactly what God has in store for us, but when He opens doors, and we faithfully follow, we can be certain it will be a blessing-beyond imagination! Just like your Grace! Many thanks for all of your encouragement and helpfulness! Karen another "crazy" mid-life mom! :-)

redmaryjanes said...

I love to hear these stories. We are very similar. We have two fifteen year olds, a 12 year old and a 3 year old. So we have older children and there will be two younger children.
The bottom line is love. There is plenty of love for everyone.

Ashley said...

Hi Gail,
That is such a beautiful, heartfelt story. Thanks for sharing it. I believe if we ask God, and listen, he will show us the answers.
hugs...

Kim & Jeff said...

Gail - thanks for sharing...

We went thru a number of different fertility treatments and didn't really get any answers but always thought if we couldn't have children of our own that we would adopt.

It is very true that God has a plan for us all.

 
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