Sunday, May 3, 2009

My youngest son

I once had someone ask me if I'd taught Will to walk this way with his hand on his hip. I laughed and told the person, "No...he came to us that way." William is very, very funny and full of spirit.

A happy boy with a rock...

I loved him before I met him or even saw his picture in his referral. I loved him before I knew 'he' was a 'he.' We originally asked for a 'she.' I've thought a lot about this post and what I would say and even IF I'd really write it. But I am. If you've followed my blog for a while you would know William grieved hard and his transition to our family took a long time. He was very, very angry and sad. He's been with us over 9 months now. The past 9 months have been joyful, stressful and at times chaotic like all new families. It seems like he had a 'honeymoon phase' in the Winter but something is different now. In the last 8 weeks we've noticed some of the not so positive behaviors that he first had when he came home last July have re-appeared. We've racked our brains trying to figure it out. The theme of anger still pervades and we wonder if it's him being 3 or perhaps some attachment issues. We've struggled with what to do and how to help him and my gut feeling is to get some professional help. That process has already been initiated and we'll see how it goes. I wanted to be honest about our situation and our story because maybe we can help another family. Tomorrow he starts Early Childhood preschool...I ask that you keep our little boy in your thoughts and prayers. I have great hope and enormous faith. We love him so much.

UPDATE: William's first day of preschool went extremely well...he was already familiar with some of the children in his class because he receives Speech services in the adjoining room. Anyway, things went quite well. The teachers told me he was very compliant and polite and he had lots of fun too! I'm a pretty proud mama today. :)

17 kind words:

Missy said...

Oh Gail, thank you for offering this honest post. Will is such a treasure and is the cutest, spunky monkey I have ever seen.
Good for you to seek help. We really, really struggled with Paige and anger (sometimes still do). I will keep you all in my prayers. Please keep me posted! Hug that sweet boy for me.

Jboo said...

He is such a cutie and definitely looks all boy in those photos. You are so wise to seek help as I think it is almost always a good idea to follow your instincts. Hope preschool goes well for him. Will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.


The Morris Family said...

...Beautiful photos, as always. Keeping you all in our thoughts and prayers, Gail. Toddler adoption is full of challenges and opportunities, and I thank you for sharing some of your personal challenges that those of us who have adopted a toddler can identify with. Toddler adoption is a very very different animal than infant adoption. Toddler international adoption, well, it's a whole entirely new game. Anyone who has not been there done that, well, thanks but...(that's how I feel a year and three surgeries later anyway...)
Hugs and Blessings to you all!

Lea said...

Gail, you are always in my thoughts and prayers but you and your family have top spot right now.

I have been thinking about you all weekend and I am sending you lots of love and positive vibes.

I can tell that this post is written from the heart. A mommy's heart.

Love you lots my friend.


Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

I just want to reach out and squeeze his cute little face....these pictures are so great Gail!!

I will be thinking of you all this week....I know this is not easy on you or little Will. Just when you thought you had moved past some of these struggles.....If it makes you feel any better, I think you are doing the best thing for him....calling in a professional is exactly what I would do!!

Sending prayers a big hug...I hope you can get to the root of everything!


redmaryjanes said...

I will pray for Will. I think what he is going through is very normal and that you will be so glad that you reached out for help.
I truly believe that it is all going to be ok. I think it just takes a little time to lay down some roots.
You are an amazing Mom.

Super Mommy said...

Little Will is such a handsome young man - I know he brings you much joy! Glad to hear you are going to seek help for his anger issues - I've known others who have not - and it's not pretty.

Prayers sent for pre-school - is he excited? I'm sure he will love all the activities. Can't wait to see some of his artwork!

Kerry said...

As always, thank you. I do think that we can learn so much from each other and am so grateful for the way you reach out to our extended family community.
All the very best and I so hope that a professional will help his continued adjustment.
My friend saw someone for her children after home a year or so and then all was wonderful for a long time- and now at age 6 has seen some reoccurring anger issues and is going back again. So good to follow those instincts.
Hugs to you.

Michelle said...

Thanks for your honesty, Gail. I hope you are able to get some guidance. It's tough to know what to do. I'm also glad to hear his first day at school went well.

I am looking forward to meeting you in 11 days. But who's counting... :)

a Tonggu Momma said...

Gail ~ I am so glad that his first day went well! And it's always a good idea to check out services/ counseling if you are unsure. Best to err on the side of caution. We did and are so relieved we did! Hugs to you, my friend.

Felicia said...

Oh, I could just eat him up!
So glad his first day of preschool went well :)

Dita said...

Will is all boy in these photos...well, in ALL the photos I think. He reminds me lots of my own WonderBoy when he was his age, especially that hand on the hip.

I imagine that the transition is a rollercoaster ride coupled with the independence that a 2-3 year old toddler naturally will be trying to exert.

These days will be just a memory in a very short time so I hope that thought makes the difficult days you are facing a little easier to bear....and the amazing days just a bit shinier!

You are in my thoughts and I feel just privileged to share yours and watch your beauties grow every day!

Kristy said...

Gail thank you so much for sharing this story, because none of us really know what is going to happen when we get our little ones home. He is just too cute and that smile is just too much!! Can I ask you if the "boy" referral was a shock or if you kind of knew it was going to be a boy? I am just wondering because I love our little Franceska so much and if we were referred a boy I think it would be a huge grieving process. We have dreamed about her and loved her for over 3 years now. O also know that what is given to us is what God wants. I was just wondering what happen in your case. Thank you. You can also tell me it is none of my business I would totally understand.

Love and blessings, Kristy

Casey said...

I thank you for being honest because I think there are a lot of parents (of both biological and adopted children) who struggle in one form or another with meeting thier child's needs. It is never a bad idea to seek help... we've been there with Liam and the outcome has been wonderful. I would recommend it to everyone.

Your son seems so spunky and bright. I love the strut too... he's ready for the catwalk already! I'll be thinking of your family.

Steffie B. said...

Gail...being that I am dealing with a bit of this as well....I'm hoping we can talk when we are at the workshop. I think we could help each other....can't wait to see you! ;)

Amy in Arizona said...

It is so hard when our adopted children have issues. When it is our bio kids we can just say they are having issues and work through them. But we worry so much about our adopted kids wondering if it is attachment, our parenting or just them!! I hope you can get it all figured out and know what to do!!

Chris and Deb said...

What a cutie he is! I am just trying to catch up in blogland Gail. Thank you for sharing this....I too, like so many others think you are wise to follow your instincts....I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

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