Friday, August 8, 2008

Home 1 week-toddler grief

Well it's been quite a week. Dan, Grace and William seem to be adjusted mostly with the jet lag, I still have a little ways to go but maybe that's just being tired from being a mommy to an instant toddler. William has had some not so good days with the worst one being Wednesday(Grace's birthday). He is grieving the loss of his foster family and it shows in tremendous rages in the late afternoons. I can deal with the tantrums, what is so hard for me is he hits repeatedly in anger and pinches. He was getting into these cycles of hitting over and over and going after Grace aggressively to hit or pinch. He is either a very happy boy or a very sad/angry boy. I have spoken to my SW, a good friend who adopted a 3 yr. old last summer, and my sister who is a speech therapist and works with age 2-5 yr. olds. They all have been a help, but if anyone else has suggestions I'd love to hear them. He has had so much loss. Thursday night we've seen a great improvement and also so far today. I know this will take time and patience. We didn't go into this knowing it would be easy, it is difficult and toddler adoption is an entire different animal than adopting an infant. Please keep us in thought and prayer, Grace is having a very hard time with all of this too.

14 kind words:

OH MY #6 said...

u got it my friend.

Lea
xo

verna said...

Gail,
The first month or so, I thought I would pull my hair out. Noah was much like Will--either good or bad. He did not have too many tantrums but would pinch, hit and bite (possibly provoked). Time is the biggest healer. Sorry no great words of wisdom. Will send Gwen O your way. -v

Steffie B. said...

Hang in there Gail....he just needs time to heal....I am sure he feels your love...you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,
Steffie

Gail said...

Unfortunately I don't have any advice as both my daughters were infants at adoption.
You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers for a smooth transition at home.

Oatsvall Team said...

Please feel free to email me (s.oatsvall@comcast.net)... We brought home a 2 1/2 year old angel .. she was a burn victim and abused and/or neglected ... the first 4 months were unbelievably hard ...i would be happy to chat and let you know how we got through it ...

i will be praying ...

missy said...

Gail,

We too brought Paige home at 2.5 and she had been in foster care the entire time.

She grieved horribly! She cried a lot at first, then turned aggressive. It took us a good six months before we had any great days.

We just loved her and tried to be patient. We also sought advice from our social worker.

I'll be praying for you all.

I think it is truly time that heals all.

The Morris Family said...

Gail~Keeping you all in prayer. Trust your instincts- and just take it one day at a time. Maggie had some whopper angry tirades- but they have diminished greatly. I used the "time-in" method (from the book you recommended-"Adoption Parenting") when this has happened and it has helped us both.

A Mom- In-W8ing said...

I will be thinking of you and your whole beautiful family.

Smiles! :o)
Nikki

Paula said...

Prayers going out to you guys, Gail. I don't blame Grace, I wouldn't want to be pinched either.

Ashley said...

Thinking of you, Gail. You and your family are in my prayers.
hugs to you....

Jodee Leader said...

So sorry William is having a rough time. Hang in there. He is such a little cutie!

Denise C said...

Oh sweet friend...I will be on my knees for all of you! You can count on my prayers!!! May God give you grace enough for each day!
Love,
Denise

Steffie B. said...

Praying for you as I know you are going through a very hard time right now...it may take time...months even....just wrap William in your love and we will continue to support you as best as we can!
Hugs,
Steffie

Steffie B. said...

Thinking of you....

 
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